I am a Blue Wife

I am married to an amazing man. A man who has served his country as a soldier and survived multiple deployments. A man who is the father of our five children including the three he didn’t biologically bring into this world. A man who attends church with me every Sunday he isn’t working. A man who says what he means and means what he says, and if he can help someone, he’s going to do it. A man who loves to ride his motorcycle, scuba dive, work on projects, build his workbench, and be with his family. A man who loves me in a way I had only dreamed about. A man who serves his community as a law enforcement officer. I am a law enforcement officer’s wife: a blue wife.

Blue Wife

I couldn’t be more proud of the man I married. He became a police officer to serve and protect his community. He longs for the day when his radio is full of praise and helping people with cars that have run out of gas, or animals stuck in a tree, or kids that need directions to a playground instead of violence, chaos, and death. He has served as an LEO for over 10 years. Never once has he gone to work with the intention of being racist, hate-filled, or wanting to fire his weapon. Never.

But he does go to work with the full intention of coming home. He has had all of the training and all of the job experience to know that he will do whatever it takes to come home at the end of the day. He is a master of de-escalating situations and getting people to calm down in high stress situations. He has had to pull his weapon many times, and he knows with each time there is a chance he may have to pull the trigger. It is not something he wants…but it is something he is prepared to do. My husband has been physically attacked, spit on, threatened and had his family threatened, listened to the screams of a woman being attacked before he could break down the door and get to her, watched helplessly as a child drowned on a security tape before he could arrive, given CPR to a lifeless infant that had been smothered, put his own hands on a stab wound that should have been fatal to save a man’s life, witnessed a man take his own life with a shot to the head less than 10 feet in front of him, and so. much. more.

The trauma that he has seen on a day to day basis would be overwhelming to some, and that’s only what he has seen as an LEO…and that he has shared with me. Not once in any of those situations has my husband turned bitter or hateful. He prays. A lot. He holds us close every day, and he makes sure to give me a kiss and tell me he loves me before he goes to work. Yes, even at 4 am, I wake up to make sure to say, “Stay safe” and “I love you”. I pray incessantly. I cherish the moment he walks in the door safe once again. My greatest fear is getting that phone call, that officer at my door, that folded flag in my hands. My greatest resource for overcoming that fear is my faith in God and knowing my husband is doing what he loves and will do the very best he can to come home to us.

I pray for peace. I pray for the war on law enforcement to end. I pray for communities to come together and work with law enforcement instead of against them. I pray for those so filled with hate against all LEOs and those who encourage violence to just stop. Finally, I pray for my husband…to stay safe, to stay strong, and to know he is loved and has a family that waits for him at the end of every shift. I am a proud blue wife.

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