Recently I’ve found myself really struggling to be happy with my job. I got a new boss back in January, and my old boss was just flat out amazing. Obviously, I knew my current boss wouldn’t be exactly like my old one; however, I think I set my expectations too high. And now I’m left disappointed.
It’s not that she’s terrible, but she isn’t great either. I’ve become the dumping ground for everything she doesn’t want to do, can’t handle, or can’t remember. Just today we had a meeting about summer school…again. We made a decision a few weeks ago to go one direction. Then she went to a meeting and that direction changed. No problem. Then last night she talks to someone else and we have to revisit the topic again. Now today, during the meeting with other people, she asks, “So why did we change our first decision”? I had to remind her that she changed it but didn’t tell me why. She couldn’t remember either, and we went to direction #3. Now we have to update documents, republish things, contact all counselors, and notify summer school teachers of the change…again. It’s stuff like this that makes it frustrating. Not to mention, I’m still a little miffed I was passed over for this job.
Anyway, the good news is that things at home are good. I mean like really really good. If one part of my life needs to be frustrating or stressful, I would MUCH rather it be my job than my family or marriage. Since going through this job blechy stuff stinks, I’ve been turning to music (as per usual) for solace. There’s a song from Casting Crowns called “Just Be Held“. This song has been speaking to me for about a week now. I have it play on repeat at work when I get really frustrated.
I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to know that God is speaking to me through music, and that I can feel calmer and comforted knowing He’s got it under control. My favorite part of the song is this:
“Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where youll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go”
Of course the chorus is something I sing in my head all the time. I might even add this to bedtime songs I sing for my youngest. Well, the chorus part at least:
“So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held
Just be held”
That’s exactly what I love about my husband too…he knows when to just hold me. This song reminds me to stop trying to control everything and just let God take care of it. I can just be held in His arms and know that His plan is greater than mine.
Does music speak to you? Do you have a favorite song that makes you feel better?