Still waiting. I have no idea when I will get the call. But I realized today is January 20th… and it’s the 2nd day since the selection board met…and 2 is my lucky number.
I said that to someone at work this morning, and they were like, “What exactly makes 2 your lucky number”? Valid question. The short answer is that it just is. LOL! I’ve worn #2 on every uniform I’ve worn since junior high school. My volleyball, softball, and even intramurals shirts/jerseys were all #2 through college. Even as adult, I would wear either 2 or 22 depending on the league and availability of numbers.
A lot of really great things tend to happen to me on days that have a 2 in them or are divisible by 2 (yes I know that might be stretching). On the flip side, a lot of not so great things happen on odd numbered days. For example, I got married to my amazing 2nd husband on the 12th. Our little guy was born on the 10th. My birthday is the 20th. YAY for #2! On the flip side, I got married the first time on the 29th and that ended in a divorce on the 9th. I know it isn’t exact science (since 2 of my children were born on the 3rd and the 15th…and they are both good things!), but I suppose that’s what makes it a superstition. There isn’t anything exact about it. It’s more of a feeling.
At this point, I may be just being silly, but whatever it takes to get me through a day without having my heart race off or trying to anticipate my reaction to either good or bad news, I will take it. My husband, God bless him, is doing whatever he can to stay positive and keep me distracted. I even get to make a cake for his department this weekend, so that’ll be fun (oh PLEASE let me know before this weekend!). Everyone that I’ve involved in this process in some form or fashion is anxiously awaiting the results as well. Of course, they all say it’s going to obviously turn out that I’m selected…otherwise they probably wouldn’t be a friend amiright?
I want so much to believe with them. But I can’t. I can’t get my hopes and expectations up at all. The devastation if I don’t get selected would be too hard. Instead, I know that it can literally come down to the most basic of things that could keep me out. I completely understand it too. It’s like, if I’m hiring a new teacher, and I get the most amazing and talented and perfect teacher apply, but I need a Math teacher and he’s only certified in Science…it is what it is. If the Navy Reserves only has slots open for people with prior military experience, I don’t have that. It is what it is. If they need someone with a math or science degree, I don’t have that. It is what it is.
That doesn’t make the waiting or the acceptance any easier, but I know I’ve done the very best that I can. I have absolutely zero regrets in attempting to serve my country. I have worked hard my entire life to perform well in college at all levels, stay out of any trouble (I may have had a couple minor speeding tickets about 7 years ago, but that’s it), and live a good life. I’ve always been a healthy person, and getting back into running not only helped me to lose the weight I needed to, but it also reminded me of how much I enjoy running.
For now, I continue to wait and hold onto this dream. By the way, that whole waiting thing…well…