Randy Pausch said, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

Well I’ve run into my brick wall: I’m old.


Now I’m not old in how most people think. I’m 38. But according to the military, I’m too old. I’m too old to join any branch active duty. I’m too old to join go enlisted in the Army National Guard (still waiting on word about officer due to my doctorate degree). Apparently thanks to the ridiculous convenient drawdown, the Air National Guard is only interested in young people even though I technically meet their age cutoff of 40. I’m still waiting on the Air Force Reserves to call me back (I called Friday and I am calling again later today) since I technically meet their age cutoff of 39 as well. I think my last opportunity might be with the Coast Guard Reserves. Who knew at 38 with a doctorate degree not in medicine or law or seminary that I would be unable to serve my country. Just 2 years ago the cutoff was 42, and then it changed. Figures.

So…I’m still following my diet (I admit I cheated and had a coke and pizza the day I found out the Air NG didn’t want me), still losing weight (I’m at 153.1 today), and still running/working out. I have my brother’s wedding coming up in August, and I got to wear my size 6 dress pants for the first time since before I got pregnant with my youngest. So, I’m finding victory in little things right now. This brick wall sucks. I don’t think I thought about how badly I really wanted to serve my country until the brick walls started being built. Now I know. I’m not giving up yet. It’s harder to stay as motivated, but I’m not giving up. I have to go find my shovel or maybe a strong rope for climbing, but I don’t want this wall to beat me.

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