So Close

Have you ever gotten so close to something truly great only to have it snatched away from you at the last minute? That’s pretty much how I’m feeling today.

You see I was told a week ago that way back on January 13th my dissertation was AQR (Academic Quality Review) approved, Form and Format approved, and was sitting on the Dean’s desk for the final signature to clear me for graduation. There was a mix-up/confusion with who was supposed to initiate the documentation of said transactions, but then late last week I got the AQR documentation. Cool. Yesterday I emailed my chairperson to find out the status of the Form and Format documentation because I’m pretty sure I need that form by Monday, February 9th, in order to meet graduation requirements. Well wouldn’t you know, I got a response last night saying I have revisions. Not just little grammar revisions or simple “just take this out” revisions. Nope. Big FAT methodology revisions. Essentially, this woman (who as for as I know is simply an IRB reviewer that I already have documentation of being well passed at this point) the person who is a part of the Dean’s office has decided the difference in my populations of study are too great, so now I have to go back and do a sample of the population, rerun the statistical analysis using that sample, and add the chart, results, and outcomes to both Chapter 4 and 5 of my dissertation. I also then need to take out a reference to an outcome that she has determined is not supported by my results. And this is my reaction:

I pretty much spent last night, one of the few nights my husband is actually off and home with me, crying and pissed off. This is absolutely NOT how it was supposed to go. I was told I was only lacking one signature. It was sitting on his desk for the past 3 weeks. I finally started to get excited about our trip out there for graduation. We were supposed to go visit my brother-in-law who we haven’t seen since before his last deployment. We were supposed to be taking the kids to see Mt. Rushmore. We were supposed to be there early with my parents and my mother-in-law to relax before getting up early the next day to watch me walk across that stage. We were supposed to be gone for a week and getting a well-needed vacation together. I was supposed to be able to finally say I had fulfilled my promise. Supposed to. But not.

Now I’m stuck in limbo. I have to wait. Wait for my chairperson to talk to said IRB person and figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do. Wait for directions to then contact my statistician person to ask her to run this analysis and then charge me more money for those services. Wait for the results. Ok hold up. I just realized something…

Ok so now I’m fired up. I just went back and reread the message. I think this person didn’t really read my document. My chair just emailed me that she is meeting with her this morning to talk about it. She asked me to send her all of my comments and reviews from my methodologist and AQR reviewer. I’m thinking perhaps she missed that I used my entire population, and that I am not saying there is a statistically significant result of the gender differences but rather something to be further studied. Now my hope is reignited. I’m thinking she just overlooked some verbiage, and perhaps I will still be on track. My chair told me to breathe and that I would be fine. Easy for her to say.

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