Here we go…Again!

Well we met with the recruiter yesterday, and all systems are a go. My husband will be reenlisting as an officer this summer. He can already pass tape and the PT, so he is all set. We are waiting until after our vacation in June for him to go to MEPS and swear in. His first drill will be in July right after we get back from Vegas. He will start OCS in the spring of next year for 18 months. After that he will go to BOLC for around 4 months. We aren’t sure where he is going to be for that since it depends on the area he focuses on.

So, how do I feel about it? Well it’s truly such a mix of emotions. I’m so overwhelmingly proud of him first and foremost. I love the pride he has in himself when he wears his uniform. I know he misses the camaraderie, and I’m really looking forward to hearing all of those stories again. There is something about being a part of the military that I miss. That is not to say I’m all rainbows and unicorns.

I watched my husband ask our 2 year-old if it would be ok for him to be a soldier. I watched that little boy of ours nod his head that it was ok knowing he had no idea what it meant. I know I have to be strong for him. I have to make everything ok and not scary. I have to make sure both he and his daddy stay connected; their bond is unbelievably strong. I watched, and all I could do is tear up.

There is a part of me that is very anxious. I can’t say I’m terrified. The first 3 years is essentially all training and he is non-deployable during all of that. Then he will have 2-3 years left on this contract, which is when he can retire. Those last 2-3 years still leaves the possibility open for one more deployment. I am truly crossing my fingers and praying he doesn’t have to deploy again, but if that should happen, I am as prepared as I can be. I know it is a possibility so acting like it won’t happen would be just stupid.

The odd thing is that I’m not crying about it. I’m not freaking out. Now I did tell him if he f**** me over (and he understands exactly what I mean by that), I would rip his heart out. And I’m serious about that. Ironically, I just don’t believe he would ever do that to me at this point. After all that we have been through, I believe in our marriage. I believe in us. I believe God is going to protect him and us. And I believe that while he will absolutely be tempted, he will absolutely be stronger than the temptation.

I know this is the best for him and for our family. I’m looking forward to having a second chance to be a supportive military wife. I will be at every ceremony, graduation, and promotion. I will welcome him home every time he leaves and returns to my arms. I will hold it all together at home and overcome all that life throws at us. With all of the grace and mercy God gives me, I will be strong. And here we go…!

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