Sometimes Life is just Hard

This morning my husband went on a call involving a 3 month old infant. The parents had let the little baby sleep between them, and when they woke up, the baby was unresponsive. My husband said he knew it was bad, but he couldn’t help but try so he started CPR. The baby was transported to the hospital, and my husband found out a little later the baby didn’t make it. I can’t even imagine being in the shoes of those parents. 

I’ve been there with a 3 month old…4 times. I know that feeling of pure exhaustion. Just wanting 5 minutes of sleep but the baby wants to eat. It’s so easy to drift off to the sweet sound of your baby eating or sleeping peacefully. I know. I get it. But wow. I never ever let any of my kids sleep in my bed. Not ever. Not when the Army took my husband for weeks on end, and I was all alone with our youngest. Not when my middle one was so sick and just wanted mommy to rock him all night long. Not ever. Why? Because of stories like these. I’ve always been terrified of losing a child. I was the psycho mom that used to check on my babies 4-5 times a night just to make sure they were breathing. I bought the little wedge thingie to let my baby sleep on his side when that was supposed to be the best way for them to sleep. I banned all stuffed animals and blankets from the crib. Yep that was me. 

There is just something too precious about life for it to be stolen away from one so young and innocent. It breaks my heart, and I’ve shed tears about this baby and the parents all morning. Please be careful with your babies. Please don’t let them sleep in your bed no matter how tired you might be. Please.

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