DH and I have been getting sooooo great together again. Really ever since my boobie surgery, he has been amazing with me, and we have been great together, loving each other, taking care of our wants and needs, and being close to each other.
And then came the storm…AGAIN! We woke up Saturday morning and it was a gorgeous day outside. Well DH decides we are going on a walk. Now his version of a walk is not the same as what some people would think. We went well over 2 miles. It was me, DH, baby in the jogging stroller, and J. It was warm and not too hot with a gentle breeze every now and again to keep us motivated. We didn’t really talk a ton. I was only 8 days post op, not supposed to elevate my blood pressure, and I was trying to control my breathing really well so I didn’t talk much. But I did talk…about positive things (this will be important later) like how great we are, how I’m healing well, baby being so great that day, and stuff like that. So we get to the point where we are basically on our way home, and we are passing McDonald’s. DH decides we will get some lunch and keep walking home so we go in.
Welcome to the storm.
My oldest son greets up immediately upon our entrance from the playplace. He and his 2 siblings were with their dad for the weekend. I was pleasantly surprised to see him and said so. Well he tells me he is there with his dad and siblings for my cousin’s daughter’s birthday party…along with my sister, her husband and their 2 kids, my grandma and grandpa, my aunt (cousin’s mom) and her boyfriend. Yep…I wasn’t invited. Well I give DH my order, and while they are waiting for it, I go to the playplace and say hi to my sister and my grandpa (who is practically blind at this point in his life). Then DH asks me to come back out and fill my drink. It was out. So I had to ask them to fill it behind the counter. Well we are starting to walk outside, and I tell my DH that I need to say hi to my grandma and let my cousin know that my lack of invitation hurt my feelings (I’m not one to hold things inside, and I tend to be confrontational to a point). He says ok and takes the baby and J outside.
Well I go in and my niece comes up and gives me a hug and says Hi. I told her I would have brought her a present if I had known about her party. She isn’t fazed and takes off to play (she has Down’s Syndrome too and I don’t know that she really understood). Her mom starts in about how she sent me a text 2 weeks ago about it…no she didn’t. Then it was that I didn’t have my kids, so she didn’t think the baby would like the noise…so which is it. Whatever. My sister wants to see the baby, so we go outside and find DH, baby, and J.
They visit, along with my daughter and oldest, and then they go back inside and we continue walking home. Except now I’m a little miffed at being slighted, and DH is pissed because I’m mad. I vent to him about what she said and not being invited and how my sister mentioned her new “backup plan” (code for the new guy she is cheating on her husband with…long story), and my grandpa going blind but still in good spirits, and how my grandma probably figured out I got a boob job because she kept staring at them. LOL!
Out of nowhere, DH says I’m “just like them and love the drama”. Now I get offended because 1) he is supposed to be MY support system and not attack me and 2) he knows that I HATE drama, but I’m not going to sit around and bitch and complain that people hurt my feelings and then NOT tell them they did that to me. I tell him Thanks for throwing me under the bus and that I do not like drama. He then proceeds to storm away with the stroller. I yell to him about thanks for not continuing a conversation like an adult and setting a bad example for our kids, but he keeps walking. J actually stays behind with me…very surprised about that.
Well we eventually get home. (I can’t walk fast and he knows it so it took us a while to catch up at home). I try to talk to him when he goes into our master bathroom and then he proceeds to blow up at me and started cussing like crazy. Now stopping cussing was his new year’s resolution, and he asked me to help him to stop. He had been doing great with it. I remind him to stop cussing, and he just keeps going off. I tell him to stop cussing at me and he tells me if I don’t like it to get out. In the meantime he gets baby together to give him a bath before his pictures. (nice timing I know) We continue our “discussion”. I stay very calm and speak quietly. He is yelling and getting defensive and trying to change the subject all the time and redirect things back at me. It doesn’t work. I tell him he is blowing something out of proportion for no reason and keep asking him what is really wrong. He tells me I’m negative all the time. I ask him if he doesn’t want me to vent to him then…and he says he doesn’t know what he wants. whatever.
FINALLY he tells me he feels guilty because he feels like it is his fault my family isn’t as close to me as they used to be. I apologize for venting to him. I have to prompt him to apologize too, and he says “sorry for being an ass”. Nice huh. Well of course after his son J rips him a new one and makes him feel awful (which he should) for how he treated me and how he behaved, he gave J a sincere sorry. Ok. Fine.
And of course it had to happen when he had to go to work. Damn it. I spent the entire night worrying he would go back to bad habits of the past (because that’s what he did the last time we got into it before work). Well he did text a stupid girl who texted him first…but whatever…nothing too detrimental. I was frantically checking email and phone too.
Last night for dinner break we had a small tiff because I was saying since he is taking a class for work, and he was getting 1 night off, he woud still have like 8 hours coming to him. He argued with me, and then got annoyed with me. I asked why and he said it was because I was mad he had to take this class instead of be with me. Ummmm no. I was just saying he would have time coming to him. I would love to be with him, but I don’t mind he has to take this class at all. I was actually pointing out a positive, and he turned it negative. I don’t know why because he slept the entire freakin’ day away in an attempt to make his cold better (which it was) and put him in a better mood (which he said he was). We spent the last 10 minutes pretty much in silence. Then he calls me and I’m on the phone with him for over an hour. I think I even fell asleep listening to his radio once. It was a nice conversation though.
Then this morning he gets home late by about 30 minutes because he couldn’t find a printer to print out a report on their new system. He did talk to me the whole way home until his phone died. And now…well, now I’m just hoping my stupid family and their stupid decision and my husband’s ridiculous immaturity in handling conflict didn’t just set us back….AGAIN.