OMG Anxiety

Well last night I pretty much didn’t sleep at all, and when I did, it was extremely fitful. There were lots of reason for it:

1. My hubby was on a bicycle for 95% of his shift last night doing an “undercover/extra patrol” thingy. I know one of his former friends got career-ending injured doing pretty much this exact thing, so I was extremely nervous about it.

2. Because we had to pick up his son at the airport (whole other number), he had to go in late which through off everything. I didn’t get to have a dinner break with him, and our baby’s schedule was thrown off too. It just really threw off my groove to quote a disney film.

3. J arrived to us with 1 teeny tiny string backpack and his pretty much empty duffle bag. His mom said “you didn’t pay for half of anything up here, so now it is your turn. you can replace it all”. Oh and that “J said you bought a bunch of clothes over the summer that you wouldn’t let him bring up here so what’s the difference”. Whatever bitch. We’ve only been paying $600ish/month in child support…WHICH PAYS FOR ALL OF THAT!!! I could just wring her stupid fucking neck! She is so hung up on the money that she can’t see what it does to her own kid.

4. J informs me that hubby’s ex-wife #2 is dating “Jim” and that he will be going to school with “my stepmom’s son C”. I corrected him with “don’t you mean ex-stepmom” and asked him how he knew all that. He tried to play it off as knowing it from 2 years ago when he spent time with her, but I’m pretty sure we all know I’m not that stupid. He’s been talking to Asshat recently (whether strictly by his choice…which is what I think, or because of his mother…also a valid option), and she has him all riled up about it. Either that or he was just trying to see if he could push my buttons. IDK.

5. M2 decided she just wanted to be a royal bitch last night. She was snippy at pretty much everyone, and when I finally laid into her about it, she starts crying. I’m thinking she’s probably going to be starting her period soon…poor girl.

6. I think because of all the stupid scary films I’ve seen previews for (I don’t watch them because they give me nightmares) combined with the crazy newsstories out there, I was actually a bit afraid my stepson was sent to us to hurt one of us…ok so that was during one of my more irrational moments last night around 2 AM but still. LOL

Then to top it off, my husband gets home and tells me he “thinks” he created a new email account last night but that he didn’t mean to because it was really just to get into youtube. And that he was really tired at 5 am when he did it. Well first of all, he did know he created it because the “welcome to gmail new account” message was in his inbox of our joint email account. And he created it at 2:38ish AM because that is when the message came in. And he told me he was on bikes until 4 AM. Then when he gets home he says he really didn’t do much at all. Oh and the whole youtube thing is because a girl on his shift told the guy he was doing bikes with it was for him because of the line “I work out”. uh…..ok….thought she was dating a different guy on the shift. Hey whatever…she may be like my sister…except not married so it’s fine as long as she stays the fuck away from my husband, we’re all good. Now normally, I wouldn’t be too bent out of shape about the video, the email, the whatever. HOWEVER, due to the recent email/communication issues resulting in a complete shattering of any trust whatsoever, this has me VERY on edge. I must say though, he came home and told first thing walking in the door (albeit perhaps not completely being transparent about the whole “I think” part, but that’s pretty minor), and he showed me what his phone did (basically said our email account isn’t linked to you tube…which it is on my computer, so it must be a phone thing). So that all works in his favor. It’s just me combined with everything else and my frayed nerves that make it totally suck.

Anywho…I was able to talk to my husband during my lunch break. This was after I was able to link our email account to youtube and had to delete the other account to do so (which he was ok with…even seemed happy about). He also clarified why there was a charge to Wing House (known for their skanky YOUNG slutty girls) for last night. Apparently, he and the guy he was on bikes with decided to go there for dinner. Oh goody! Blech! Whatever I guess. I mean damn, it’s like the entire world is dead set on giving my husband every single fucking female temptation that exists. Oh and J was texting ex-wife #2 yesterday (just like I thought) so that’ s just fucking awesome too…another damn female to deal with right now….UGH!!!!!

Here’s to another day. Maybe I’ll go for a run tonight…that usually makes me feel better.

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