I’m the oldest

To understand me, it is important to have a good picture of my childhood and where I fit in. I am the oldest of 5-4 girls and 1 boy. My dad was in the Army for most of my childhood. He got out when I was in 4th grade. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I was in Junior High. At that time, she went back to a technical college and got her LPN degree (Licensed Practical Nurse). She was an EMT prior to that with my dad, so I guess the medical field came naturally to her. I guess I will present us in reverse order.

My baby brother is the youngest. He is now a Junior at a major university studying civil engineering. After graduating from high school, he met and married a Mormon girl from Canada who had lots of mental issues. They didn’t last a year, divorced, and he moved back home. He met another girl from Canada, dated her, visited her, realized his head still wasn’t screwed on straight, dumped her and applied to and got accepted to the school he is now at. Oh and in the meantime he finished his AA degree at a local community college. He is super smart, super funny, incredibly athletic, and overall a great guy.

The next sister is a royal fuck up. She is married to a complete and total loser. He got her pregnant while she was in high school. She denied she was even pregnant until 3 months before the baby was born. He has 2 boys with another woman who turned out to be a lesbian and told him after they split up. Anywho…he never paid child support and now can’t get a driver’s license because he owes $35,000 (at last count) in back child support. They have 2 boys and 1 girl. Oh and my sister gave birth to another boy that she gave away to her husband’s uncle (supposedly) because they couldn’t have kids. She has no job because she has been fired from them all for stealing. She has been arrested twice for stealing from Wal-Mart. She has had the Department of Children and Families called on her multiple times for her children being neglected. She doesn’t give her oldest his ADD medication, and he is constantly suspended from 2nd grade (that’s right 2nd grade!!!). She is basically white trash, and I don’t associate with her unless I absolutely have to. All of us, including me, have helped her out financially over and over and over again and she continues to shit on all of us. She is incredibly ungrateful, and I can’t stand her.

The sister after that has been on an interesting roller coaster. She was a pathological liar (and still is sometimes) for most of her life. She was molested by my mother’s father along with myself and my other sister (not mentioned yet). She has an issue with hygene, and her teeth are disgusting. She eloped when she was 17 to her 18 year old boyfriend. He joined the Army and deployed to Iraq just after she gave birth to their 2nd daughter. When he got home, they divorced. She joined the Army and ended up hurting her ankle really bad and got discharged because of it. She met her current husband and they now have a son together. While she was pregnant with her son, she met my husband who was stationed near her. He was actually a friend of my other sister (the one not mentioned), and they were doing the whole “tour D.C.” thing, and she tagged along. LONG story short, she hooked up with my husband and they had a one night stand. She never has and probably never will tell her husband that she cheated on him (especially that it was with my husband…who I did NOT know at the time). She now is a stay-at-home mom with zero college experience and no real work skills. She does make cakes on the side and is an all-star cheerleading mom for her oldest daughter. Her other daughter plays soccer.

The next sister is the one that I was/am closest to. She has always been the tomboy in our family. She has also always been a bit overweight, and that has created a complex for her. She married right out of high school to a guy that had a daughter. He was in the Navy, and they moved to Hawaii before he got out. They lost custody of the daughter to her mother, and I think that was really the catalyst for their divorce. That and he was really bad with money, and my sister wanted a baby and couldn’t figure out why she couldn’t get pregnant. She had multiple laproscopic surgeries to address her female issues and endometriosis, but nothing helped. She is also a pathological cheater. She cheated on her first husband many many times, and it still continues. After divorcing, she met a couple of other guys that she slept with and then met her current husband. He comes from money and has never struggled a day in his life. He is a police officer. She went to the police academy and was a police officer when she met him. He was able to pay for in vitro, and they now have twins together. Oh and he has a son from the girl he got pregnant while he was in high school. He met my sister while he was married to his first wife (who was a royal bitch). She worked with my sister, and she actually accused my sister of sleeping with her husband…and she was probably right. Anyway, my sister met my husband during a police class type thing. They became friends, and according to my sister, became more than that and talked about running away together, her leaving her husband for him, etc. According to him she was a booty call that he considered a friend. Bottom line: they slept together twice. She continues to cheat on her husband with mostly police officers, fellow softball players, and guys she picks up at the bar. She also smokes when she drinks, and loves to have “girls night out” a lot which is code for she is hooking up that night with someone else. We were VERY close until I met my husband and he fell in love with me…and not her.

Then there is me. I am the oldest. I have always been an overchiever. I was involved in everything I could be in high school. I went to college and graduated a year early, with honors, a 4.0 the last quarter, cum laude, and was pregnant my last year too. I was Miss T.E.E.N. Illinois when I was in high school, and I did the pageant circuit for a while. I cheered and danced, and became a cheerleading coach too. I have coached collegiate coed, high school Freshman, JV and Varsity, and all-star mini, youth, junior, and senior at almost all levels. I also do musicals in my community theater (well I did until I got pregnant with my youngest and now I don’t have time yet). I am on my church’s praise team, and I completely love to sing. I have never cheated on a guy I have been with…ever. Even my ex, I waited until I had filed the first divorce paper before sleeping with another guy…even though it was over LONG before that. I am fiercely loyal, deeply devoted, and completely committed. I take my marriage vows VERY seriously. I used to be incredibly selfish, and I think I’ve actually grown out of a lot of that…Thank God. Now I want to make my family happy and proud of me. I work every day to be as successful as possible at that task. I still get hurt, and I still get disappointed, but my spirit doesn’t get broken as easily as it used to. I was molested from age 6-13 by my mother’s father, who is now dead. I think it radically changed me. I am able to completely shut off parts of my brain at my convenience. I can turn off emotions on a dime. I tend to hold grudges, and while I forget inconsequential things, I NEVER forget a hurt or an injustice. It is extremely hard for me to forgive, and while I pride myself on being an excellent communicator/arguer, I can get all tongue-tied when I’m hurt because I still want to try so hard to express myself appropriately. I tend to hold back on my emotions in that sort of situation, and sometimes that can lead to misunderstandings or things just being left unsaid. Those are my biggest faults.

And that is my immediate family.

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