My First Marriage

I was engaged to be married my senior year of high school to a guy named David. We were high school sweethearts. His oldest brother went to school with my mom. I worked for his mom. He was 2 years ahead of me in school. He was sweet and kind, and I was hoping he would rescue me from my homelife/hometown. We went away to college together one state over and things quickly fell apart.

I was always the good girl, and while I flirted with not being so good in college, I never compromised my morals and values…until I met Aaron. Over summer after my first year of college, I spent the summer in Florida with my family. While I was gone, I found that David and I just sort of grew apart. When I came back for my 2nd year of college, I met Aaron in the theater thanks to my roommate wanting to audition for “The King and I” but not by herself. So I went with her and there he was. I thought he was tall dark and handsome. He swept me off my feet. I broke up with David in October, and within a week a was with Aaron. Now I waited to be engaged to David before sleeping with him. With Aaron, I waited a whole 2 weeks. Long story short, by July I was pregnant. I was raised that meant we got married, so that’s what we did.

My dad told me at the back of the church before I walked down the aisle that I didn’t have to do it. I should have listened to him. What followed was 12 long years of struggle. Aaron was an undiagnosed and untreated bi-polar who also suffered from ADD and OCD as well as SAD. I never knew who I would be coming home to every day. When I was pregnant, he was great. Just after the baby was born he was great. A month later, he reverted back and it was all on me to raise our child(ren). I had a miscarriage after our son was born, and I was leaving Aaron and moving to Florida with my parents. He chose to follow me and work on things. 5 months later things were going fairly well and we got pregnant with our daughter. He decided during that pregnancyto quit his job and start a lawncare business…which quickly failed. Oh and this was about 3 months after we built a house and moved in.

That of course began another destructive part of our marriage, and I left him. I moved back in with my parents for 3 weeks. He sweet talked me back, and my daughter was so little and wanted daddy, so I went back. We went to counseling and went to marriage conferences through our church. We joined a couples group, and things were better. We had our 3rd and last child, a boy, and I thought life was going to work out for us. That is, until he flipped out.

He got into a car accident, which put him into a deep depression. He quit school (for the 3rd time). He quit his job (again), and he put us into a bankruptcy which made us lose our house. I have no idea to this day what he did with all of our money. We moved to a rental house for 2 years then we bought an older smaller house. Then he started messing around with girls in the theater, started directing shows at the local theater a lot, and basically wasn’t ever around. I got super involved with coaching all-star cheerleading, coaching my high school’s cheerleading squads, and basically tried not to ever be around home.

We fought all the time. My kids were miserable, I was miserable, and the tension was building. One night he pushed me against the wall and was screaming in my face. I went to our room and shut the door on him. He left and then came back and things just got out of hand. That was it for me. I told him I wanted a divorce. It took me 3 months to get the paperwork filed and paid for and to get moved out. But I did it.

I filed for divorce in September of 2009, and on October 5, 2009 I was divorced. By that time, I had met my current husband…which is a whole different story. 🙂

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